I really enjoy reading these. I don’t normally ask for them as people will just send them in sometimes. But I did ask Jenelle because I knew she had an interesting story, and with her gradually working her way onto my staff I thought it would be a great opportunity for the members, and myself, to get to know a little more about the pull up queen.
If you would like to share your story please feel free to send it my way. All I ask is that you make it about you, your fitness journey, and what brought you to Sublime. I don’t want no ‘crossfit saved my life’ stuff!
For as long as I have been “body conscious,” I have been “self conscious.” I remember in junior high reading a note one girl had sent to another: “Jenelle has back fat.” Ouch. I then spent the rest of my junior high then high school years worried that I was fat. I was always active and athletic, playing competitive softball for 10+ years and being involved in every school sport until I got to high school, when I started working out in a gym, so I always had a an athletic build… its laughable that I ever thought I was “fat.” But that’s how it was, and that’s how my thinking remained for years afterwards. I never felt happy about the way I looked. I obsessed over it. I often told myself “if I lost these last 10 pounds, I would be so much happier. I would be satisfied.”
In my early 20s, I sought out a trainer for a diet and exercise plan. I was asked if I wanted to compete in a bikini competition. I was already going to be doing the diet and exercise thing, so I figured, why not? Then I would have a goal to work towards, a strict time line, and in the end I would have my “dream body.” So for over 20 weeks I worked hard. I got up at 4am, did almost an hour of cardio before heading out to 12 hours of work as a paramedic. I’d then return to the gym for strength training, more cardio, and drive home to pack my lunch and do it all over the next day. I was sleeping 4-5 hours per night, I was tired, hungry, grumpy. I remember how weak I felt those weeks leading up to my competition. One morning when stocking the ambulance, I went to the medical supply room, which is down in the basement of our hall. I turned around to head back up those stairs and thought to myself “I can’t. I’m so tired.” Is that what fitness is about? Is that really living a healthy lifestyle? To some, perhaps. To me at the time – yes. All I could think of was how baggy my clothes had become, how much my waist had shrunk, and that glittery bikini I’d be wearing on stage in a few short weeks.
Fast forward to me after 2 bikini competitions over the course of several months that year. I was heavier than when I started, I hated myself, my body, and what I’d done to it. I couldn’t stop eating all the things I had felt deprived of for so long. I had no self control. I’d tell myself “Monday, Monday I’ll start to diet again.” Then Monday would come, and I’d spend a day or 2 eating my tilapia and cucumbers (yes, this was a delicacy I “enjoyed” several times a day while training for the show).. and then I’d eat an entire jar of peanut butter (not even joking). I had created such a monster in my head, these demons that told me everyday that I wasn’t beautiful, I was a failure. I had worked so hard and for so long, and sacrificed so much, and this is what I got in return. I can’t even describe to you the daily battle I faced when looking at myself. I spent that entire winter with my work pants unbuttoned because I couldn’t bear to go up a size.
Enter Crossfit. I started Crossfit just over 2 years ago at a different affiliate in the city. And it was life changing. All of a sudden, I had goals that didn’t involve going weeks trying to avoid peanut butter. It was exciting, challenging – I couldn’t even do a single pull-up, and here were girls holding weights between their feet and doing multiple reps!
To write this piece without crediting my boyfriend Brad for so much of my Crossfit success, and keeping me going back, would make this piece incomplete. I remember watching him at the 204 Massacre that year in February and being so impressed… muscle ups? Could I ever do that? Maybe without Brad in my corner I could have… I won’t ever know. But I do know that through my transformation body and mind, Brad was there to push me, inspire me, and keep me succeeding. When I wanted to eat paleo, he was game. When I wanted to go to the gym for 6am, he would wake up with my alarm and never complain. If I wanted to go to the gym instead of out for dinner.. okay, well we would just go out afterwards.
Brad became the ultimate training partner when I started at Sublime just over a year later. He had recently switched from another affiliate, and could not stop raving about how great it was there. My contract was up, and I figured that it would be awesome for us train together. Now, that is just one of the many, MANY great things about being at Sublime. So here is where I finally get to talk about this incredible place, haha. I remember my first few weeks there. Kyle thought I hated him because he seemed to always coach on the days we were snatching, and I HATED snatching. Truth was, my olympic lifting was so deplorable that EVERYTHING needed to improve. And the great thing about the coaches in this gym – they aren’t afraid to tell you that. These guys have rebuilt my Oly lifts from the ground up. I’ve put over 25lbs on my snatch and about 45lb on both my clean and jerk (35lbs when completing them as one lift). That is just one example. I went from teaching myself how to butterfly kip based on youtube videos, to easily hitting 20 chest to bar butterfly pull-ups unbroken. Multiple sets of unbroken muscle ups. I just finished 15.3 with only 2 no reps on wall balls… that is a HUGE improvement over last year’s open where 50 wall balls probably had me doing about 20 missed reps. But all those are just physical improvements. Yes I am fitter; faster, stronger, more explosive, bigger engine, leaner. But it’s the inner transformation, my growth as an athlete mentally, that is even bigger. I am now training and eating for performance. I weigh myself only to know how strong I am in comparison (for example, knowing I can deadlift over 2x body weight! Thanks guys!). I eat carbs, glorious carbs, because I need them, and I am not afraid, because sometimes having a donut and then Olympic lifting makes a huge difference. I’m really proud of my big arms. I recently had to get a dress for a wedding.. a size small was a little too big, so I tried on an extra small. The zipper wouldn’t go all the way up because my upper back was too wide. Just over a year ago, that probably would have made me cry. That day, I proudly bragged to Brad, “the zipper couldn’t fit my lats!!”
I could write pages and pages about the incredible people here. The coaches are second to none. They WANT you to succeed. They aren’t going to let you only work to a part of your potential. They are honest. They know so much about every movement, and if you let them, (and they know somedays I don’t, like after night shifts), they will do everything they can to perfect your form. The group of athletes I get to train with every day – I haven’t forgotten about mentioning you, I just (as usual) have so much to say – they are nothing short of incredible. The life they bring, the positivity, the support, it fills that space every day. The members make this place truly exceptional. We are each others biggest fans and greatest cheerleaders. My absolute favourite thing about being part of this group is learning everyone’s story. Everyone is so special and works so hard. It is truly inspiring to hear where each of you have come from, and to see where you are now.
I better sign off here, before I lose your interest. Thank you to EVERYONE at Sublime for making it the incredibly unique, supportive environment that it is. I know you will continue to breed amazing athletes at all levels, and develop each mentally and physically to be all that they want to be – just like you have done for me.